Point: Sunlight Is Bad
I remember learning in elementary school that the sun was a star. “No, it’s not,” I thought. “There’s no way. Also, tigers aren’t cats. That’s bullshit, too.” Turns out, I was wrong about both. The sun is indeed a star, and an important one at that. It’s my favorite star and should probably be yours as well. Sunlight, however, is bad.
It Gets In Your Eyes
Having something in your eye is a singularly miserable experience. Eyelashes, shampoo, dust, air. These things are all annoying and painful and make seeing or thinking about anything but what’s in your eye very difficult. We should think of the sun this way. It hurts when sunlight gets in your eyes and makes doing and seeing things annoying. People often give me tips to combat this issue: Andrew, wear a pair of sunglasses. Andrew, put a hat on before you go outside in the sun. Andrew, you’re being a moron, people don’t actually intentionally stare at the sun. All of these suggestions simply reveal the truth about the sun--it’s bad. Taking measures to protect your eyes from something usually means that the something is bad.
It Harms Your Skin
When people get burned by a fire or by boiling water or by an acid, their skin turns a different color and blisters. The sun causes similar reactions. Going out into the sunlight can lead to blisters on one’s skin. I really don’t understand why anyone would need any further reminders or evidence to conclude that sunlight is bad. Again, yes you can take measures to protect your body from the sunlight. However, covering yourself in the sunlight is warm and uncomfortable. (More on that later.) And wearing sunscreen is gross. It’s slimy, it smells, and it makes your hands and therefore everything you use or carry greasy.
People have different reactions to the sun depending on skin tone. My skin burns all months of the year, but it’s not lost on me that if there’s any group of people who deserve for the universe to complicate their lives or make them uncomfortable, it’s white people. Still, sun exposure is dangerous for your skin regardless of what it looks like.
It Gets Too Hot
Housepets often find places in the home where the sun is coming in and lay there in the light. That’s because they’re stupid and spoiled. Animals in the wild without a steady source of food and vaccinations don’t waste time lounging in the sun. It’s actually a drag for them to be out in the sun all day long. This is because being in the sunlight makes you hot. And not just your eyes and your skin; the sun makes your whole body hot. Sunlight should have shade thrown on it, rhetorically and literally. Being in the shade is just better than being in the sun for the same reason that sleeping on a bed is better than sleeping on gravel. Those dumb housepets would unquestionably go find a tree to lay under if you forced them out of the A/C for an entire day. They’d be right to do so. It’s hot being in the sunlight.
It’s Best When It’s the Least
The most beautiful times to see the sun are right when it appears for the day and then right before it goes away for the night. The reason for this is simple: these are the points at which the sun gives off the least sunlight. When something is only good because there’s a little of it, this thing is bad. Photographers love natural light, but their golden hours are when the sunlight is at its lowest intensity. Therefore, it’s actually the lack of sunlight for which photographers have affinity.
The human body needs sodium to function properly and salt can make food taste amazing. But despite the importance and deliciousness of salt, we talk about it in a way that is truthful about what it is. Too much salt is bad for you. I didn’t like the soup because the broth was too salty. The way companies make unhealthy foods addictive is to use salt. He got all salty when I beat him at checkers. We should think of sunlight in this way: necessary but generally not good. Some sunlight can make you happy and healthy. It can keep you warm and get your photos likes. It can also lead to irrevocable harm and varying degrees of misery, and so you owe it to yourself to admit that sunlight, while fine and even good in rare circumstances, is plainly and truthfully bad.